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take me drunk i`m home
Anyone else ever thought about farting into one of those plastic cylinders at the bank drive-thru?
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
What do you call a black woman with braces?... A Black and Decker P@cker Wrecker!
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
My theory: Every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
Their bedroom door is closed. I better walk in there for no reason. - kids
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
i wasnt tht drunk u was holding a ballon thinking it was a comdom
Whoever decided to color underpants white was an idiot.
Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.
If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?