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It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
Give a man a fish and chances are you won`t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
HANGOVER!!!!! it`s God`s way of sayin "u kicked a$$ last night"
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn`t amused when I said, "I don`t think it`s working"
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
If you´re cooler than me, doesnt that make me hotter than you?
Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
When I text someone and they don`t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.