Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
I just poured myself some iced tea. I could have sworn I heard one of the beers in my fridge whisper "What the F*ck!?"
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
Exercise? More like extra fries.
Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
I really want to see you tonight. So could you please leave the blinds up and the curtains open?
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?
I don`t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.