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People who try to test my patience don`t realize it`s an exam I don`t plan on passing
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
What idiot called it "best man" instead of "lord of the rings"
On the subject of sex, my parents told me `the man goes on top, and the woman underneath.` No wonder I got divorced. For 3 years my ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds.
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where the f*ck is my remote?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch dumbass."
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
LIKE IF you… walk into a room, forget what you need, walk out, and then remember.
Sex, drugs, and candy crush all have one thing in common. It’s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn`t work here.
Just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I`m gonna need a minute
Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.
awesome collection!
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco...they have concrete walls...years of foods and supplies...and best of all the zombies can`t get in without a Costco membership card.