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I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
We still don`t know sh*t about that airplane. - NEWS
I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn`t in a band anymore.
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
The only candy I crush are empty cold ones.
The iPad Air is named after what`s left in your bank account when you buy one.
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before.
Man cannot live on bread alone ... hence beer and stuff.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco...they have concrete walls...years of foods and supplies...and best of all the zombies can`t get in without a Costco membership card.
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?