Daily Silly Status

Relax, you’re not paranoid at all. Everyone is talking about you.

This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.

I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P

I`m really tired but it`s OK. There`s a nap for that.

I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.

I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.

For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.

I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm

Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.

There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.

F*ck you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.

I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`

I have no idea why they say that counting sheep helps you fall asleep. This farm is freezing and these cows are noisy as hell.

They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.

Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.