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Was the little pig who decided to built his house out of straw some sort of f***ing idiot?
Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
Seeing a spider isn`t a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider disappears.
Sorry, I can`t today ... My sister`s friend`s mother`s grandpa`s brother`s grandson`s cousin`s uncle`s fish died. Yes, it was tragic.
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
If Monday had a face, I´d punch it.
After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
Was at an Apple store today when I let out a really loud fart. Boy, the employee`s were so mad. Hey, Not my fault they don`t have windows!
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.