Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
Dear Mom, If all my friends jumped off a cliff, it`s because it was my idea. Sincerely, Your child is a leader, not a follower.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
It`s like the people in this restroom don`t even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU
If you have to guess what a commercial is selling, it`s always perfume.
Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don`t even have a battery in my smoke detector...
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee.
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
My newsfeed looks like a cross between a Civil War Soldier and ZZ Top photo album.
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.
I`m terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.