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That awkward moment when you give the same Hallmark card two years in a row.
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
my cross-eyed girlfriend left me today. She was seeing someone else.
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
Pretend it`s a beer... Pretend it`s a beer... Pretend it`s a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby.
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
That very akward moment when Shakirah`s hips lie!
Sometimes I get in this weird mood where I find everyone annoying. But it only happens when Iām awake.
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
Give me a fish & I`ll cook you dinner. Teach me to fish & I`ll just be sitting there in the boat with you getting drunk.
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
Everybody reaches a point in their lives when they die.
Carrots may be good for your eyes, but alcohol will double your vision.
Note to self: the wife does not want an `exercise pole`.