Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
Person: You`re blocking the view. Me: B!tch, I am the view!
Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not nearly as funny when you live by yourself.
Caterpillars have the ideal life. They eat a lot and then sleep for a while and wake up beautiful.
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
Imagine how creepy the first guy to dress up as a clown must have been, where in hell did he get that idea?
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.