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School is like an erection. It`s long and hard unless you`re Asian.
So vegetarians eat vegetables... I think I`m going to play it safe and avoid humanitarians.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
I thought the voices in my head actually liked me until I found out they learned sign language just so they could talk sh*t about me.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m an apple.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
Today please just pretend I wrote something hilarious, click like, and move on down the news feed.
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
sorry abaut the message I sent you last night, my phone was drunk!
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
Don`t you just love it when you see someone who is photogenic, looks perfect in every picture but then when you see them in person you`re like EURGH God Damn! What happened to you in the last 24h!
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.