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Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
It’s amazing how much more money I have when I’m drunk.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
How strange, some guy just waved half of a peace sign at me...
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can post that"
Can I apologize in advance for basically everything I will ever do???
roses are red violets are blue da shit in my back yard looks jus like you
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?