Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard. My second thought is virgin wizard.
Just bought me a medical alert bracelet that says... "probably just sh!tfaced"
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
I like to go to the bar and flip peoples license plates upside down, then go home and listen to my scanner.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that Iām right.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
Donuts: An excuse to eat cake for breakfast.