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I would exercise, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
I just made a voodoo doll of myself. Can someone take it to the gym?
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don’t like on
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.