Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
Spoiler alert: I unplugged your fridge.
Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Donβt be mad, Iβll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
I`m starting to think that all those hours in school, when I practiced writing my autograph, was just a waste of time.....
If the best things in life really are free, why am I still getting charged at the liquor store? I call bullshit
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
I`ve been around the block a few times.....but only because I was too drunk to find my house.