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Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
Stress balls work really well when you shove them down someone`s throat.
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it`s probably just as well real lightsabers aren`t available yet.
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
My business card is just a picture of me looking inside the fridge.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.