Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn`t working out either.
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
People who think Iām not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
What do you call a dog with no hind legs? Dragon Balls.
She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
Good thing Jan Brady`s older sister wasn`t named Beetlejuice
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
I always scratch off the "Plus One" option on wedding invitations are replace it with "Drinking for two"
I hear they designed the newest iPhone to fit perfectly in your hand, right where your money used to be.