Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Me: You`ve dimmed the lights already, aren`t we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
I don`t understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion.