Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My daughter just explained to me that these dinner postings were not real invites. I have to apologize to all my friends out there for showing up last week.
My girlfriend says I talk while I sleep... but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
Do bees even have knees?
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.