Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
When I get to heaven, the first question I`m asking God is, why does my butt have more hair than my head?
They say you are what you eat, though... I don`t recall eating a sexy beast today
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I’m not sure what it means
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
Pool is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
If pigs could fly, nobody would be eating chicken wings.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)