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Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
I DON`T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON - Never mind, I found it.
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
"is Pepsi ok?" - my coke dealer, tryin to be funny
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I`d so tap that."
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.