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Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5`9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please
When I grow up I´d like to be a "Retired Lottery Winner."
Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it`s a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO!
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
No, I’m not funny. I’m just really mean and everyone thinks I’m joking.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
Me being rude: Shut the f*ck up. Me being polite: Please shut the f*ck up.
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
You never truly appreciate Newton’s laws of motion until you’ve sneezed while going to the bathroom.
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?