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Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there.
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren´t even trying.
Nobody really dates anymore. You just make eye contact, text, hang out, and next thing you know all her clothes are in your closet....
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
I`m fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.