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I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.
It`s hard to make your coffee when you haven`t had your coffee.
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn`t want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.
If Santa’s helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
My favorite in-laws are the ones that don`t exist.
I wish karma would send me email notifications.