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Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely Facebooking than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space.
Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
As a man I am so thankful I don`t have to give birth. I could never go nine months without drinking.
I don`t mind my long commute, I just hate that it always brings me to work.
Wouldn`t it be ironical to die in a living room?
The hardest part about being an adult is trying to hide how you`re still a child.
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Somehow I`m not nearly as overjoyed with this vegetable slicer as the woman on the infomercial was.
Get off your high horse. Seriously, it’s not safe to ride any animal that’s stoned.
Whatever Mom, IF THAT`S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
If I had a dollar for every time I had a nickel.......
the only way I know something is bad for me is if I like it
I quit beer every time I wake up hung over
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)