Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
Last night we were in bed and I asked my wife "What would you like to do to my body more than anything else?" She said "Identify it."
If I was Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, "That`s one small step for man," would have been, "Screw you every girl who ever shot me down!"
whoever snuck the `s` in fast food is a clever person
You`re either part of the solution, or you`re one of my coworkers.
I’m hopelessly addicted to placebos ..I’d give them up, but it’d make no difference.
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
Haters can hate all they want... they don`t affect my money.
Try trick or treating in spandex... I`ve seen how much it can hold.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.