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These police take Hide and Seek really seriously.
You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I am sure it has rabies
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective.
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I`m the proud owner of aisle 7.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don`t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.