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Does the Food Network deliver?
Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
When life is stressful, do something to lift your spirits. Go for a drive. Go two or three thousand miles away. Maybe change your name.
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
I bought my mother in-law one of those atomic clocks. I can`t wait for the alarm to go off.
I’d go to the gym but I’m still tinkering with the ultimate workout playlist I started three years ago.
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
I wonder if monsters ever get scared that we might be hiding under their bed?
I stop at random Jehovah`s Witness houses and drop off copies of Rolling Stone.
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.