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He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
Hearing jokes is always 100 times funnier when you have water in your mouth.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.
At Starbucks drive up window. Me: large iced chai please Them: you mean a venti? Me: large iced chai. Them: we call a large a venti. Me: Do you want a large tip or a venti tip? Them: large iced chai, please pull up.
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store asked to come back soon.
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.
Burglars must love "My Family Stickers". They can wait in front of someone`s house, count the people that leave, and know if they have a dog or not...