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That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone’s status.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
I pay $200 a month for car insurance, I`ll run all the red lights I want
If my sarcasm confuses you it`s because you`re stupid.
You know you`re getting old when you`re looking forward to some time off so you can have like three doctors appointments.
Sorry I liked your status, I was cleaning my phone.
Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
Guys that try to pick up girls on facebook are pathetic. Girls if you agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you "fall asleep right now".
Did you know , that if you use asterisk , you can do anything you want ? * gets on a t-rex and gallops away into the sunset *
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you