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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
Turtle: I`m the slowest. Snail: No, me. Internet Explorer: Bitch, please
Junk food would be a lot easier to avoid if it actually tasted like junk.
I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
Dimples are considered a facial muscledeformity in the medical world.
Sure thing.... follow me... I`ll show you the fastest way to get to nowhere.