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I have this condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry.
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
Why didn`t you tell me that I wasn`t going to like you
Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores? Same. But I`m in a liquor store.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
You are the pebble in my shoe of people
My inner child has a bottle of vodka in one hand, a whip in the other and a broken halo sticking out of her back pocket.
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
Every woman thinks her husband is a moron. And they’re absolutely right because smart men don’t get married.
This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.