Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
Pepsi and Coke can`t even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.
Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
I bought some shoes of a drug dealer, I don`t know what he laced them with but I`ve been tripping all day.
A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my pajamas.
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.
Sometimes saying "F*ck it" is the best decision.
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out