Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
have you ever been like "what`s the day today? ... no i mean the like the number".
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I’d say it’s been a success.
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
Someone asked me how much love was worth and I couldn’t answer because alimony is calculated differently in each state.
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
My lack of dusting will finally pay off on Halloween.
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
mom- "if you dont have anything nice to say, don`t say anything"
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!