Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t reach it. Don`t need it.
Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........
Married sext: I`m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
Sometimes Late at night. I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
I`m not saying Goldilocks was a piece of sh!t, but she broke into someone`s house and just started eating their breakfast.
When grown-ups tell kids they have a lot of energy, they really mean that they’re being annoying little bastards.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I´m in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"