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Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
Was shopping when a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain`t got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
Valentine’s Day is in 4 days so if you are secretly in love with me I suggest you reveal it now.
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
I am taking a shot for every “like” I get on this status. Then again, I’m taking shots whether you bastards like it or not.
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
Be nice to your kids. They get to choose your nursing home.
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.