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Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
I suspect my gravestone will have a pretty serious urine discoloration not long after I`m gone.
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
I think the only way I`ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I`m in prison.
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.