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Worry: a waste of imagination.
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
I will always love you, even if I have to from no closer than 300 feet.
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What are nuts on the chest? Chestnuts. What are nuts against a chin? Blow job.
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever`s bugging you.
I bet people donβt understand that Iβm joking 800% of the time.
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talkβ¦then I remember all the things he has seen me do when Iβm alone.
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.
If you love something, feed it so much that it getβs too fat for anyone else to want.