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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
DUI attorneys should buy some ad space on those Taco Bell hot sauce packets.
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.