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*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
My Memory.....The Second shortest thing I have.
The iPad Air is named after what`s left in your bank account when you buy one.
Marriage is like playing Monopoly. It starts out as fun, gets a little boring, then someone steals money from the bank and no one ever wins.
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless.
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
Ummm,, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.
I had this awesome dream last night where Facebook went down and most of you went on a killing spree.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.
The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird sh!t.
My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song "The Wheels on the Bus"