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Life is too short to be angry and hold grudges. Just slap them in the face and move on!
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
There`s no easy way to steal a watermelon.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes...Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
"Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table was when I was trying to make room for a pizza.