Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
Why can’t the shower just naturally keep itself clean?
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
I`m combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I`m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven`t hidden.
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
I don`t hate you, it`s just, if you were on fire. I would roast marshmallows.
I am hungry 25 hours a day
Apparently when your girlfriend says "f*ck that bitch", you`re not supposed to take her seriously.
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.