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Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
Before I had kids I never really reflected on life`s little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?
For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats.
make little things count. teach midgets math.
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
My wife thinks I’m at work. My boss thinks I’m home sick. These ducks think I’m awesome because I have the bread.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn’t hear me call shotgun.
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!