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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
As a kid, i was afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I am terrified of the electrical bill.
Iām probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
Currently helping my girlfriend look for her chocolates that I ate 5 hours ago...
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
Iām considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you`ve gone Commando a few times in your life.
I just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ... "Probably just sh!tfaced."
Who called them expiration dates instead of spoiler alerts
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.
I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.