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Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
Note to Self: Next time I leave my wife a message that I`m in a threesome all afternoon, specify it`s golf.
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
I would like to think I will die a heroic death, but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
Big deal, Times Square, I drop the ball at least twice a week.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
Nothing`s more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.
I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time