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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
Balloons think they’re so cool. I tried to tell one he was leaking and he just said, “Pfft.”
My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization.
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
Don’t bother flirting with the girl from accounting, she knows how much money you really make.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
I don`t blame Monday. I blame Saturday for not matching my Powerball numbers
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now I’m gonna be up all night worrying.
I will never repeat filthy rumors. So listen closely the first time.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
That tenth doctor is a selfish idiot, he never recommends anything!
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.