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Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
[the instructor clearly frustrated with me on first day of veterinary school] "It doesn`t matter if its a dog, it`s still called a cat scan"
Anyone else ever thought about farting into one of those plastic cylinders at the bank drive-thru?
Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
I have never walked toward the exit of a supermarket without nervously wondering if I`ve stolen something.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of