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How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...
That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and then both walk in the same direction..
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like: “Well I’m bored, let’s go brush our teeth.”
Did you know that doughnuts make your clothes shrink?
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.
Backseat drivers are the worst. They`re always like "the light is red!" and "don`t text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.