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I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
Just when I think my confidence couldn`t be shakier, some shitty website tells me I have a "Weak Password"
I do 5 sit ups daily. It might not sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
facebooked yo mama!!!
I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.