Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
My mother always told me to never quit something I`m good at. So here is to her for making me realize that i`m good at being drunk!
Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
The thing about smart mother f*ckers is... They sound like crazy mother f*ckers to dumb mother f*ckers!
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight. I have to get up really early tomorrow afternoon.
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
I went to buy condoms and the cashier just said "yeah right" and put em back on the shelf
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
It`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes on Facebook.
I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.
Nice try blocked number, but I don`t even answer my phone when I know who`s calling.
Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
My best friend sent me a message saying,"Your stupid," I replied,"atleast I know the difference between you`re and your,"
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I´m in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"