Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why hasn`t anyone invented a button next to the snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
The closest I got to a 4.0 at university… was my blood alcohol level!
If you`re in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up and play dead and they usually leave you alone.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.