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"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Never trust a person with only one Facebook photo of themselves.
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
I don`t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
It’s amazing how much more money I have when I’m drunk.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
It`s not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you`ve reached your destination.
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
Every load of laundry that I wash, dry, fold, and put away makes nudists seem less crazy.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
I tried kickboxing, but I couldn`t get the hang of walking with boxing gloves on my feet.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn’t pay their electric bill either.