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When a guy texts a girl “hey stranger”, what he really means is “I’ve recently thought about trying to get in your pants again.”
I`m not much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop and where to spend it
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
I’m eating just in case I get hungry later
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn`t think so.
Obesity: When you buy a hula-hoop and it fits you.
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of adults nowadays who ask kids "What do you want to be when you grow up?" are just trying to come up with some ideas?
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
Do the other settings on the washer actually do anything?
I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.