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That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
If the river were beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up..
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
If I can’t act weird around you, I’m sorry we can’t be friends.
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.