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I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
It`s possible you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
Waldo wears stripes because he doesn`t want to be spotted !
My wife is a perfectionist but she made an exception in my case.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
I tried kickboxing, but I couldn`t get the hang of walking with boxing gloves on my feet.
Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
When I hear someone say they hear voices in their head, I wonder if they’re just thinking for the first time.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.