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I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
“Why is life so hard?” – Me, trying to open a jar of peanut butter.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called Lunch.
Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
I miss times when I was working at the zoo... my boss fired me just because I left the lion`s gate open.... I mean who would steal a lion
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying