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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
My friend is a magician, she can turn anything into an argument.
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
People are always gonna talk about you, so you might as well give them something good to say.
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.
it`s friday o clock
The wife and I just got divorced. We split the house ... I got the outside.
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don`t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
Practising my breast stroke, so if I ever get a girlfriend I dont do it wrong...
Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.