Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Smelling another person should be a choice. Just sayin’
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
I was just thinking, which is the biggest thing I plan on accomplishing today.
My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting sh!tfaced.
That awkward moment when the woman your dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, and you realize she`s just lost an earring and nobody in Starbucks can hear your iPod...
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
If I have nosy neighbors, I always like to dig five 7 ft. x 3 ft. x 6 ft. holes in the back yard and every couple of days, Fill one in.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
Wow, it`s beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn`t a glare on my screen.
Don`t worry about walking a mile in my shows. Try a day thinking in head.