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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some sh!t.
In-laws the reason why I`d never get married..
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight. I have to get up really early tomorrow afternoon.
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
Save the US Postal Service. Have the Jehovah Witness and Mormons deliver the mail.
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
The only benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don`t have to do laundry for another week or two.
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.
I may be asking too much of this coffee.