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How come know-it-alls, don`t know how annoying they are?
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
Being married is 90% talking about what to have for dinner.
You guys, how can true love still exist if we don`t have mixed tapes anymore?
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
cuss words = sentence enhancers
They don`t even serve apples at Applebee`s. Or bees.
Size does matter ... When ordering a pizza
Saw some girl pull up to her mailbox, open her door & then fall entirely out of her car while reaching for the mail ... JK ...It was me.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it.. So now I have to live in constant fear.. O_o
Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.
Most hated song in jail: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you"......