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Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
Keep calm and drink on.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
May the bridges I burn light the way.
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
My day at work wasn`t easy, I just made it look that way!
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
Don’t jump to confusions.
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....