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Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into your man, just smile really big and ask him, "Notice anything different?"
There`s a word for people like you ... "leave"
Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends.
Under no circumstances shall a call be made to another male after 2 a.m., unless its to get bailed out of jail.
[boss calls me to office] We found a lot of disgusting porn on your computer. Thats a matter of opinion. Some may say it`s the right amount.
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
It`s impossible to get a parking ticket if you don`t have windshield wipers.
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
Never underestimate a woman`s ability to make you feel responsible and guilty for her mistakes.
Designated Driver is just a nicer way of saying, you can come with us, but nobody wants to deal with your drunk a$$.
I say the things better left unsaid.
I come from a long line of successful people. I have successfully stopped that tradition.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.