Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I drink to make other people interesting
Christmas is just like any other day in the workplace, you work your butt off and the fat guy with a suit gets all the credit.
I order all my food with extra gluten.
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.
Hold boobs not grudges.
Today I am thankful that I don`t post what I am thankful for on Facebook, every day in November. Or ever.
How do nudist clean their glasses?
If it`s any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day.
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
“Latte” is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.